A Demented Comic Book I Drew When I Was But a Wee Lad

Because I’ve vacationed at this cabin nearly every Summer of my life, there are various simple treasures of my youth stashed here and there which I uncover whenever I open a drawer looking for a screwdriver or something. Recently I stumbled across this two page comic, totaling 39 panels that I drew when I was perhaps 10.

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I think there’s more to this, but I couldn’t find it. I’ll dig around more tomorrow, I remember drawing loads of this kind of thing.

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What follows will be an examination of the comic two zoomed-in panels at a time, to make the text legible. I don’t promise you’ll be entertained. Remember this was drawn by a 10 year old, for his own enjoyment, and I was a weird kid.

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Text: “Spaceman Bob zooms(?) towards the space station”.

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Text: “At that very moment, a giant alien cruiser was approaching!!!!!” (I liked exclamation marks, ok?)

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Text: “This door leads to the glass enclosed artificial planet!!!!”

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I was also obsessed with what happens when a space station loses pressure because of that scene at the end of Aliens.

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Text: “Oh no, there’s a hole in the glass globe! The station’s losing air!!!!”

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For some reason I felt it absolutely necessary to show every step in un-docking his ship.

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Every step. Dunno why, I think most people understand what goes into it. The ‘tism caused this I guess.

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The saucer section of the space station ejects here, a blatant ripoff of the same thing in Star Trek: TNG

Michael Bay style explosion porn in 3…2…1…

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The end of the first Alien film is what made me so fixated on extended, flashy explosions I think.

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Here we see the old “outrunning the blastwave” trope.

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Our hero commandeers the saucer section for his own profit.

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Once again unnecessarily belaboring every technical detail.

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There he is at the helm under a glass dome. But the alien cruiser has other ideas.

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The alien cruiser cloaks before attacking for no reason, even though our hero already knows it’s there. Rule of cool.

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Oh no, who is shooting me? Maybe the giant alien cruiser that was in that exact spot one second ago.

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Cruiser blows up the saucer section, but only after our hero ejects in the glass domed escape pod. His rocketship autonomously decouples and follows him.

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Yet again, needlessly showing every step of a process. The glass domed escape pod comes up alongside the hero’s rocketship.

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Every step must be explicitly shown. Every last step.

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Thus our hero is reunited with his rocketship and escapes, setting a course for unexplored galaxies. The end. I told you it was going to be weird and pointless. Did you think I was lying? There is no accounting for what came out of my ten year old brain.

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