A Demented Comic Book I Drew When I Was But a Wee Lad

Because I’ve vacationed at this cabin nearly every Summer of my life, there are various simple treasures of my youth stashed here and there which I uncover whenever I open a drawer looking for a screwdriver or something. Recently I stumbled across this two page comic, totaling 39 panels that I drew when I was perhaps 10.

I think there’s more to this, but I couldn’t find it. I’ll dig around more tomorrow, I remember drawing loads of this kind of thing.

What follows will be an examination of the comic two zoomed-in panels at a time, to make the text legible. I don’t promise you’ll be entertained. Remember this was drawn by a 10 year old, for his own enjoyment, and I was a weird kid.

Text: “Spaceman Bob zooms(?) towards the space station”.

Text: “At that very moment, a giant alien cruiser was approaching!!!!!” (I liked exclamation marks, ok?)

Text: “This door leads to the glass enclosed artificial planet!!!!”

I was also obsessed with what happens when a space station loses pressure because of that scene at the end of Aliens.

Text: “Oh no, there’s a hole in the glass globe! The station’s losing air!!!!”

For some reason I felt it absolutely necessary to show every step in un-docking his ship.

Every step. Dunno why, I think most people understand what goes into it. The ‘tism caused this I guess.

The saucer section of the space station ejects here, a blatant ripoff of the same thing in Star Trek: TNG

Michael Bay style explosion porn in 3…2…1…

The end of the first Alien film is what made me so fixated on extended, flashy explosions I think.

Here we see the old “outrunning the blastwave” trope.

Our hero commandeers the saucer section for his own profit.

Once again unnecessarily belaboring every technical detail.

There he is at the helm under a glass dome. But the alien cruiser has other ideas.

The alien cruiser cloaks before attacking for no reason, even though our hero already knows it’s there. Rule of cool.

Oh no, who is shooting me? Maybe the giant alien cruiser that was in that exact spot one second ago.

Cruiser blows up the saucer section, but only after our hero ejects in the glass domed escape pod. His rocketship autonomously decouples and follows him.

Yet again, needlessly showing every step of a process. The glass domed escape pod comes up alongside the hero’s rocketship.

Every step must be explicitly shown. Every last step.

Thus our hero is reunited with his rocketship and escapes, setting a course for unexplored galaxies. The end. I told you it was going to be weird and pointless. Did you think I was lying? There is no accounting for what came out of my ten year old brain.

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