[Dream Report] My Distorted Reflection


There’s a lot of bad CGI in my dreams. I dunno what the deal is with that. Any really large landscape feature typically looks like some shitty 1990s CGI like from a game FMV. The mountain in this dream was like that. Fragmented into pointy spires reaching up to the sky, striped with discolored alternating layers of sediment.

I didn’t see it right away, as the dream started out at night. I was exploring what looked like a park on the campus of the town’s university. There were lovely leafy trees everywhere, but also ghosts. When I pointed them out I was told it’s not a big deal, and given instructions how to reduce their numbers.

You know those arcade machines with light guns? They had those in the park, but there was no screen. You’d point the light guns at the irl ghosts and shoot them. They’d screech, then blink out of existence in a brief flash of light. I wondered if this was ethical, providing the ghosts are the spirits of dead people.

As dawn broke, I went on a hike up the mountain with some other students. There were dilapidated wooden structures, some in the trees. Tree houses? Sort of? But some also merged with ground structures at the second floor. We descended into a tunnel in the side of the mountain.

It was held open by a wooden framework, like a mine shaft. It got narrower and narrower as we progressed until I had to turn back because my backpack wouldn’t fit. The rest told me to ditch it, but I wouldn’t. Instead I turned back and headed down the mountain.

Along the way, standing in a clearing amid the trees, I realized I was dreaming. I did that thing that happens in lucid dreaming where you check to see how realistic everything is. Looking around, closely studying details, and it all checks out. Like always I was blown away by this.

Stranger still, I thought I could remember waking life, but it felt hazy. As if it was the dream. The thing is, when I actually woke up, the details of my waking life I remembered in the dream were all wrong. As if while dreaming, even if I realize I am asleep, I cannot properly remember who I am and what my real life is like. It just feels as if I can.

I tried flying, and to my great surprise I was actually able to fly properly. This never happens in my dreams. I don’t know why this time was different but I could freely soar down the mountainside, like a wingsuit sky diver exploiting ground effect. I landed on the burnt out remains of a house.

Again I studied my surroundings but everything was sharp. Crisp, not even a single blade of grass out of place. I headed further into the husk of a house. The bathroom for some reason wasn’t damaged. I made the mistake of looking at myself in the mirror. I recoiled from what I saw.

That’s just mspaint. Picture it as a photo distorted with photoshop instead. But that was my reflection. My features moved around subtly, such that when I next looked into the mirror, my face had changed into this.

I can never seem to look at my reflection in dreams without some seriously weird shit happening. Either I have no face or what I see is all wrong. I don’t know the significance of this but also don’t really care to guess. The dream ended here, leaving me with a lot of questions but no more answers than usual.

The incredible realism of lucid dreaming makes me wish the technology existed to induce it artificially, and to prolong it as much as possible. It really feels fully as real as waking reality, but never lasts long enough for my liking. I tried to manifest people I knew, but couldn’t.

Why could I fly, but not cause people to appear? I’ve done it before. I think because these were old friends who I lost touch with, and I couldn’t remember their faces clearly. But the staggering realism of it makes me wonder if perhaps the future of VR is just computer assisted lucid dreaming.

Why not just make your own brain do all the rendering when it’s plenty good enough for it? I mean don’t tell me it’s not up to the task of fabricating convincing false realities, but modern GPUs are. I would pay good money to lucid dream for a ten hour stretch, with full control over what happens during it.

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