[Short Story] “Oh Shit, Spiders!” The Straight-to-Video Travesty That Nobody Asked For

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“Fuckin look at that spooky ass Incan pyramid. Guaranteed there’s some fuckin spidery spiders in that sumbitch” grumbled Handsome Manjaw.

“I don’t care” proclaimed Professor Scientist. “We can’t leave without the data we came for.” Titty McBooberton, the expedition’s necessarily beautiful medic, breathlessly requested…